Ukulele basics: early learnings

Ukulele is purported to be cheap and easy to start with, and in my experience that's true enough – but due to the weird orthodoxy around ukulele (and musical instruments in general) newcomers like myself have to figure a lot of stuff out ourselves, which someone could just have written down. Here's some of that useful stuff I figured out, written down.

The Spongebob problem

Ukuleles come in different sizes, from teenysmall standard 'soprano' ones up in size increments of a few inches through concert, tenor and baritone.

You can pick up basic ukes in toy shops and music shops for anything from a tenner to thirty quid, but those are usually the smallest (soprano-sized) plastic affairs, decked out in bright colours. Or emblazoned with Spongebob Squarepants. Consider passing on these because they sound like crap, feel like crap to play for any period of time (you'll be mashing your fingertips down on those cheesewire strings for hours), and aren't likely to last terribly long due to build quality and shoddy materials.

Not that I'm a uke snob: I've got four now, which cost between 45 and 120 pounds each. These things can cost a lot more.

If you're going to throw away 30 quid, I recommend instead you throw away 50 quid and buy one of the slightly nicer ukes made of wood/wood laminate, ideally with Aquila nylgut strings. (I am an unashamed strings snob.) For about 50 quid you can often get a starter pack on Amazon with a fair quality starter uke, a gigbag (i.e. soft case) tuner, strap and such.

By putting down that little bit more money it's possible to get something that's got a great sound, is a pleasure to play, with strings that are kinder to your fingertips. (Less likely to be emblazoned with Spongebob or something you'll come to regret, which is a bonus. And I like Spongebob.)

The great thing about ukulele sizings is that the tuning of soprano, concert and tenor types is the same. What this means is that you'll put your fingers in the same places on those to make the same chord or note. I'm a goddamn woman, and thus too mighty for the smallest ones at first – so I went for concert size and its mellower sound. Consider going a size up for your first instrument, you can always size down if you want to later as you grow more accustomed to the geography of the fretboard.

Tuning attrition

When you get your instrument, it probably won't stay in tune. For weeks. This may not mean it's broken, or bad quality – so don't leave a huffy review on Amazon just yet.

New ukes, and new strings, take a couple of weeks to settle.

You have to tune them daily (more often if you can) to get the strings to gently stretch. Keep at it and eventually your uke will stay in tune – which is pretty bloody magical. If you buy your uke online it'll probably come fresh from the production line, so bear this in mind.

(I know you're impatient and want to get stuck in because ukulele is awesome, but it's worth the wait. Feel free to play it straight away, but remember that it'll fall out of tune before you're past the first verse... Don't get disheartened.)

Alternatively, consider buying a uke from your friendly local music store – they may be a bit more pricey than online, but they may also have done that messy few weeks of tuning attrition for you.

If you lived here you'd be home by now

You're going to need some basic rhythm, or a willingness to practise until you develop some. Yes, this kind of thing can be learnt, but that takes time.

If you want to make reasonable progress in playing the ukulele you have to commit to it and put the time in on a regular basis. Sure, you can make steady improvement from just 15 minutes a day (it's better than nothing!) but unless you're a secret ukulele legend, you're not likely to get anywhere fast.

I practise every day, usually for between half an hour and an hour, sometimes more. I can now play certain songs and rhythms I was utterly convinced I would never master in my lifetime – and I play them well, too.

It takes time. Lots of time. Lots and lots of time and practice. But in a year's time you'll wish you had started now.

It's likely to hurt

If you're doing it right, that is. But it gets better.

When playing ukulele you press the strings down with the tips of your fingers. Depending on what your strings are made from, and how soft your skin is, this can hurt quite a bit. Sooner or later calluses (i.e. thickened, less-sensitive skin) will build up on your fingertips, so playing no longer hurts. It's all part of the process of learning a stringed instrument, and it happens to everyone.

My fingers smarted for days when I first began, and this got in the way of getting back on the horse. Once my calluses developed, it no longer hurt to play, but my fingertips felt uncomfortably tight for quite some time. And then suddenly they didn't. Now I can play for hours with little issue, and I came pre-broken, so you'll be fine.

Regular play will maintain your calluses, and while at first they'll be all grody and peel, they settle down as time goes on.

As a side note, on the same hand as you develop those fantastic calluses you'll need to keep your nails really short so they don't prevent you from pressing the strings down properly. Your fretting hand is a lesbian now. It's good. Just accept it.

If it sounds wrong, it probably is

Many, many songbooks and songsheets available for free on the internet are incorrect. I won't go into the billion frustrating reasons for that here (that's a post in itself), but it's best you take this stuff with a pinch (or a cartload) of salt.

Music is universal

Here's a tip that'll save you a lot of hassle: if you can't find the ukulele chords for a song, try the uke equivalents of the guitar chords of the same name, or the piano chords...or any chords you can get your hands on. They're often the same, or very similar, and a G major on guitar is basically the same sound as a G major on uke.

Which brings me on to my last point...

You don't have to do it how they tell you

Let me level with you, some chords are very bad, no-good, bastard chords. Then again, some fingering diagrams are just ridiculous. There is an easier way to play E which is just as good!

A lot of ukulele knowledge seems to have been laid down by people invested in feeling all cleverclever and superior: ignore that nonsense and play the version of the chord you can do now. If there's no version you can do, then that one's for the practice pile. Strum with your thumb if you want (I do). If using a pick feels good, do it. (Consider sticking with felt ones though, for some reason lots of starter kits give you plastic plectrums because it makes the kit sound more attractive, but it's kind of a faux pas to use them because of the Very Special Sound they make. Then again, if plastic makes you happy, knock yourself out. Just don't play around me, please.)

There's more, but that's for another day. I hope this saves you crazy kids some pain and sadness, and makes it easier to enjoy your first steps with ukulele.