Negotiating terms: Recovery
Write the abstract last
The really important stuff is always the hardest to write. It'll come soon enough, just not yet. For now, let's take it as read that I have some complex, thoroughly biased ideas about jargon, and that using the term 'recovery' doesn't mean I'm good with the other phrases that usually go alongside it. Recovery, however, is undoubtedly a good thing.
What is recovery?
Recovery is getting better. It's understanding – and being courageous enough to admit – that you are not where you want to be, and taking steps to go somewhere else. For recovery, you don't have to have a clear idea of your destination, you don't even have to have a plan, you just need to be moving forwards, one step at a time.
You might be hurting from physical illness, mental illness, addiction: these are all things that keep you in one place. Stagnant. Withering away.
Recovery is movement. Getting stronger. Building up, up, up. Big steps, little steps...who gives a fuck?
As long as you are taking steps, you are moving towards a better life.
So, let's walk
A few months ago I stopped drinking alcohol, which wasn't easy after several years of steadily worsening alcohol abuse. (Is there any other kind?) Life is – give or take – about a metric fuckton better now than it was when I was drinking.
Am I recovering? Have I recovered? Those are big questions that I'm still stitching together my feelings about – rest assured, I'll share my patchwork of thoughts on all this with you another day.
For now though, my take is as follows:
- Recovery is a constructive and uplifting concept to focus on when making changes in your life. (Being solution-focused is far more healthy than thinking about things in terms of the problem. Example? Just try not to think of the white bear. Oh...hi there white bear.)
- The word itself is useful because it's the label most people use to mean this thing. Hence, calling it recovery means the relevant tools can be more easily found and disseminated to the people who need them.
- Methods for it can help provide a framework when we're vulnerable and could use a hand to help us up. Trust me on this.
- As long as you're not hurting anyone or breaking any laws, bolstering your own recovery is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. You should be kind to yourself. Being unkind is what got you into this mess.
- Recovery is brave.
Be brave.
You can.